A Zombie Press Release

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE - ALL MEDIA

SUBJECT: Zombies United calls for an end to artificial intelligence research and development

Like other Americans, we like to take the kids out at night for a big Mac. If we're lucky, we may see Jerry McDonald, who likes to walk alone at night and has a flip-top snack lid for his skull—lovely fella, and very generous. Jerry is a far cry from James "Big Brain" McCarty, who refuses to go out at night, and keeps his brain to himself.

Recent developments in the field of Artificial Intelligence (AI) threaten our source of nourishment.

AI researchers claim their fiendish programs, and their widespread use in offices, will soon reduce the size of the human brain!

This is a frightening prospect, and one we must resist. STOP THE RESEARCH! STOP SHRINKING BRAINS!

Sadly, it's not just AI that's shrinking brains. It's also online "entertainment", and constant cel phone use, an addiction more powerful than our need for a late-night snack of gray matter.

The problem is not limited to ordinary citizens. The brains of our nation's politicians have been shrinking for decades!

(Full disclosure: 42% of national office holders are ZU members.)

Join us! Help us stop AI research and the sale of helmets and head-coverings.

And, for God;s sake, STOP CARRYING FLASHLIGHTS ON YOUR EVENING WALK!

Robbie "The Nibbler" Nact
Head Honcho, Zombies United