MEMO

TO: Middle managers
FROM: Brewster Munson
SUBJECT: Pride Week

I have begun receiving reports that an unusual number of employees have scheduled doctor and dentist appointments for May 4th, the so-called Star Wars day.

I am concerned that large numbers of our employees will be tempted to engage in Unauthorized Worktime Absences (UWAs), thereby lowering productivity.

The Executive Committee has agreed on a series of preemptive measures designed to prevent large-scale UWAs.

Starting five days before the 4th, the entire company will begin a campaign called Pride Week, with the slogan, "Pride in Our Company, Pride in Our Work."  Here are the main features of the campaign:

• On Pride Day 1, Human Resources will release a company-wide announcement listing the Pride Week activities.
• On Pride Day 2, employees will receive small cube banners stating "I've got Pride" in large letters, with "I'll be here EVERY DAY" appearing in smaller letters underneath.  (Managers will note which employees fail to display the banner and promptly perform Morale Boost Chats.)
• On Pride Day 3, employees will gather for a 90 minute Founder's Forum meeting in the main auditorium. Attendance is mandatory.
• On Pride Day 4, middle managers will hold Pride Week Quality Feedback discussions. Managers are encouraged to use the phrase, "You'll learn things that will be important for your performance review" when announcing the meeting to subordinates.
• Pride Day 5 — May 4th — we will hold the Pride Week Employee Picnic kickoff meeting (60 minutes, mandatory).  Although the actual picnic is scheduled for the following Saturday, afternoon meetings will review Pride Week goals and allow employees to sign up for their "pot luck" contributions.  (The company will supply soft drinks and a large number of "I've Got Pride" banners.)

With the good feelings we'll generate with Pride Week and the picnic, the majority of our employees should be able to make an appropriate decision vis-a-vis an absence day, and remain in the building for the entire work day. (Note: we will institute increased Internet monitoring and name recording.)