MEMO

TO: Managers Grade 40 and above
FROM: Brewster Munson
SUBJECT: Decision-Making Device

I am please to announce a major development in this company's decision-making process.

It is an executive decision-making tool that will form the backbone of our new Professional Organizational Network Doing Executive Reviews (PONDER).

As you know, PONDER was formed to review the executive decision-making process. In 16 months, we reviewed 3,760 major decisions. We estimate these decisions cost the company $38.6 million (not including executive bonuses), and yet we failed to detect a logical thought process for 48% of these decisions. (This data is Company Private.)

We began searching for a tool that would provide a busy executive with clearly-stated options, set in an interactive decision-making matrix. We evaluated 23 computer-based decision-making systems, each more complex than the last. Our panel of executive reviewers found these systems to be:

• Too complex (i.e. too many factors entered into a decision)
• Too time-consuming (some important decisions, such as mergers, took days to decide)
• Too expensive

Fortunately for us, one of our VPs returned from a trip to Washington, DC with a civilian model of the MDM-27, a device currently in use at the White House, the Department of Commerce, the Pentagon, and the Federal Reserve.

The MDM-27 is a highly sophisticated computer that provides 100% accuracy with a simple voice-activated interface.

Exactly how the MDM-27 works is a military secret, but I can assure you that rumors of alien technology are false. My belief is that the device senses the innermost thoughts of the executive making the decision and merely presents the pre-formed decision in an easy-to-read format.

In any case, all important management decisions are now being made by PONDER-certified executives. In fact, no one is considered for high-level promotion unless he or she is certifiable.