Brian Dean Humor

DOs and DON’Ts For Meeting Godzilla

 

Brian Dean HumorDO tell him you have seen all his movies. DO NOT remind him the camera adds 500 pounds.

Brian Dean HumorDO NOT try to tickle Godzilla. He giggles, but then he eats you.

Brian Dean HumorDO NOT stand next to police cars or army tanks. Godzilla loves to stomp those.

Brian Dean HumorDO visit his facebook page. You’ll find a handy list of cities he plans to destroy. DO buy the tour shirt.

Brian Dean HumorDO NOT stand next to flower carts or ice cream trucks. Godzilla likes to show his ironic side by stomping those, too.

Brian Dean HumorDO take his picture. He loves those little flashes, and the army will have something to send to your next of kin.

Brian Dean HumorDO NOT toss Godzilla a peanut butter sandwich. It sticks to the roof of his mouth and makes him cranky.

Brian Dean HumorDO NOT organize innocent school children to sing songs to Godzilla and throw flowers. He would eat those kids like popcorn.

Brian Dean HumorDO NOT ask Godzilla to toast your marshmallow. (That's how we lost Kyoto.)

Brian Dean HumorDO take the opportunity to try out your homemade death ray. It will not work, but Godzilla will laugh and you’ll make the evening news.

Brian Dean HumorDO NOT try to argue with Godzilla. Simply state your point of view, agree to disagree, and RUN LIKE HELL.

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