DO tell him you have seen all his movies. DO NOT remind him the camera adds 500 pounds.
DO NOT try to tickle Godzilla. He giggles, but then he eats you.
DO NOT stand next to police cars or army tanks. Godzilla loves to stomp those.
DO visit his facebook page. You’ll find a handy list of cities he plans to destroy. DO buy the tour shirt.
DO NOT stand next to flower carts or ice cream trucks. Godzilla likes to show his ironic side by stomping those, too.
DO take his picture. He loves those little flashes, and the army will have something to send to your next of kin.
DO NOT toss Godzilla a peanut butter sandwich. It sticks to the roof of his mouth and makes him cranky.
DO NOT organize innocent school children to sing songs to Godzilla and throw flowers. He would eat those kids like popcorn.
DO NOT ask Godzilla to toast your marshmallow. (That's how we lost Kyoto.)
DO take the opportunity to try out your homemade death ray. It will not work, but Godzilla will laugh and you’ll make the evening news.
DO NOT try to argue with Godzilla. Simply state your point of view, agree to disagree, and RUN LIKE HELL.
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