Brian Dean Humor

Secret Airline Codes

Baggage tag with bar code

Air travelers know that every airport has a three-letter code, like LAX for Los Angeles.

What most people don't know is that the airlines have secret codes for special destinations and problem passengers. Here's the list, obtained at great personal risk from the confidential files of a major airline.

MON (Middle of Nowhere) Use for passengers who want to get away from it all.  Note: this code is no longer used for Jamaica.

EOE (End of the Earth) For passengers who have already been to MON.

WRM Use when a passenger asks for "someplace warm." Then book the passenger on the next flight South.

ATL/SUB For passengers who want to go to Atlantis. The SUB part avoids confusion with Atlanta, and indicates the last part of the trip will be by submarine.

AGN For travelers who had such a good time, they want to go again.

CHP Pre-9/11, this code meant “cheapskate trying for most economical fare”. Now used for suspicious person, means “check his pockets”.

TZN For passengers who want to go to the Twilight Zone. Note: Never seat these passengers near a window.

POI Code for package tours to Hawaii.

HDZ (Hades) Use for someone who's going to Hell. Note: a hand-basket is considered carry-on luggage.

BUS Use for alternative transportation when someone says they hate flying.

EMR (Emerald City) For passengers who want to meet the Wizard.

SOD For Irish passengers returning to the Old Sod. (Passengers may request blarney or no-blarney seating.)

PUK Generic code for Canadian destinations.  (Replaces EH?.)

BUY For passengers going on a shopping trip. (Not to be confused with BYE, used for small passengers who are "going bye bye".)

HOM For tired travelers who just want to go home.

Other Special Codes

$$$ Gambling charters going to Las Vegas.

¢¢¢ Gambling charters returning from Las Vegas.

### For passengers who need two seats.

&&& Warns crew this passenger makes frequent requests.

FFF Warns crew this passenger is repeatedly profane.

III Warns crew this passenger has a huge ego.

MMM (Rarely) used for passenger who loves airline food.

OOO Alerts crew this passenger fears flying.

PPP For pregnant women who need a seat near the lavatory.

SSS This passenger will expect the inflight movie to be "Snakes on a Plane".

TTT For British passengers who refuse to drink coffee.

UUU For passenger who blames the airline for any problem.

YYY Warns crew this passenger asks a lot of questions.

XXX For couples who want to join the Mile High Club.

WAH For any passenger with a crying baby.

ZZZ For a passenger who wants to sleep during the flight. (Issue this passenger the brochure "Good Luck With That".)

NEXT: The Mars Polar Lander

Laughs